Call the preacher and drape those moose heads with satin ribbons. We meet, eat...and marry...at the Faculty Club.

Not even counting "game days" when one can't marry, (the logistics are too difficult) some 25 weddings are scheduled this fall, says banquet coordinator Marion Coletto. If you want to wed there, better plan ahead. While you're at it, jot down decorating ideas for the Great Hall's stuffed animal gallery: They've already been done up in jewelry, veils and hats, says Colletto.

Among fall ceremonies: Prof. Anthony Fisher of Agricultural and Resource Economics and Margaret Bentson of Walnut Creek; Bill McCune and Michelle Starratt (daughter of Susan ten Bosch of Student Activities and Services and Social Welfare alumnus Arthur Paul); and spring term architecture lecturer Chris Falliers and Adrienne LaPierre.

Credits for dedicating most unusual objects this month go to Her Honor the Mayor Shirley Dean (who, in her campus life, is marketing and recruitment coordinator at Undergraduate Admission and Relations with Schools) and to Chancellor Tien.

At the opening celeb for Sonoma Valley Bagel Cafe Sept. 10, Dean -- drawing on a popular theme -- proclaimed Berkeley "a multi-bagel city." Open house was followed by a bagel buffet. Cafe Scenario: When a helper offered to microwave a bagel (their toaster hadn't arrived) for a Berkeley staffer, the manager was so horrified he rushed forward to offer a free, properly toasted one the next day. They aim to please! The cafe's in the spiffy new Center Street row on the way to BART and a definite part of the city's sidewalk dining and shop renaissance.

The chancellor, meanwhile, did the honors for Printing Services' new six-color press Sept. 13. (Indeed, the very same press upon which a recent colorful issue of Berkeleyan was printed.) Long may it run.

We see where UC has looked at long term care insurance and can't offer a plan just yet. Trouble is, it has to be good enough and cheap enough and has to cover us wherever we move in retirement, says Ralph Howard at system-wide benefits. It's in our future, no matter how we pay for it. Those with elderly parents appreciate this effort. Keep at it OP, and come up with a good plan for us, should we live long enough to take advantage of it. Guidelines are due out if you want to buy a policy yourself. CSU, incidentally, offers it now. Inexplicably obscure fact: UCRP members might end run by signing up for the PERS long term care plan, says PERS's Troy Richardson at 800-923-9119. But...gotcha...only when next open enrollment comes 'round.

So put off aging and shape up. Rec Sports has fall fac/staff memberships at $145 -- probably a far better deal than long term care insurance. Through Sept. 30 they'll throw in a week's free aerobics.

Freebie: Take the whole fam to the Art Museum/PFA Sept. 22 for face painting, puppets and circus-type things.

-- F.M.